Short video game reviews

This article will contain reviews of games that I either don't think deserve a long one, or didn't bother to write one yet. This will be updated whenever I play a new game; some of these might also get proper reviews later, so watch this space.

PlayStation Portable

Wipeout Pure

Futuristic racing game with shooting in it! Very clever way of handling difficulty - when you clear tournaments at a certain speed level, you unlock the faster ones. So newbies are forced to get good to be able to progress. Game is unforgiving - it's hard to make turns especially at the higher speeds, while the AI will of course make them perfectly unless an opponent intervenes. As if that wasn't enough, the AI also "cheats" by almost always having the same guy win the race (if you don't do it instead). Decent variety of cars, all with different statistics - though they don't seem to matter that much in the actual game. For example, the Speed stat just concerns the top speed which you will rarely reach, and Shield is easily rechargable so a low one is not that much of a handicap. Weapons could be done better - there's the overpowered Quake weapon, while the Plasma is so hard to aim with as to become almost useless. And there is no way of affecting what kind of weapon you get, which IMO would be a great tactical addition to the game. The weapon symbols are also pretty unintuitive - you don't really know what you've got since it's just geometric figures - at least until those stick into your mind. They could have drew an actual rocket instead of some green square or whatever. It might seem I'm just shitting on this game, but in reality I heavily recommend it despite the small flaws. Stylish, colorful graphics, nice animations, amazing soundtrack, unlockable cars and tracks makes this a staple. And of course it pulls you in, which seals the deal in the end. I don't even like racing games, and yet I've spent way too much time on this - so you don't need to be a fan of the genre to enjoy this one. Recommended.

Wipeout Pulse

Sequel to the above, adding new modes (Eliminator mode, which focuses on destroying cars instead of actual racing, is super fun), tracks, cars (but removes the unlocks...), weapons, a "loyalty" system which can add skins to your favorite car, and a grid campaign structure. It also removes the cheating AI so that the same opponent won't win almost every race. This makes it easier to clear tournaments, though the unforgiving speed is still there. Soundtrack is a little worse than Pure's. Not much more to say - if you liked Pure, Pulse will not disappoint either. Note: GET ALL THE DLC if you want to try these games. Recommended.

Corpse Party

A showcase of how not do to game development. It begins with talking, talking and more talking that isn't interesting at all and could fit in three times less words. Oh, something came out of the door! Is that a ghost? Is this where the action begins? No, it was a student making a joke. And all the lead up suggested it was a ghost...this would have been such a good opportunity to end the damn talking and get interesting, but it was wasted. And now, more useless talking. Then, you get introduced to all the other students - the worst possible way to present the game's characters; and you probably won't remember any of it. Finally, I can control my character! Okay, let me walk here...fuck, something interrupts me. Let me guess, it's more fucking talking. I've stopped playing when this multiverse shit got revealed, since in addition to all the other crap in this game, I just hate this trope. There is no soundtrack or anything at all to keep you engaged. As usual, it's possible the game gets better later, but I won't get the "opportunity" to discover it. By the way, I don't hate visual novels - Corpse Party just happens to suck. You will see later how a good one differs from this. AVOID!

Puzzle Quest - Challenge of the Warlords

Candy Crush on steroids...and some really strong ones. Actually, this is a role-playing game where the fights are done through matching gems. It will really test your focus - forget about smashing through your enemies, at least for the bigger part of the game. Every opponent will require a different strategy - from the gear and spells you pick for the fight, to the movements you make on the actual board. There are four different mana gems which will add to their respective mana pool. The variety of spells is massive - damage, HP or mana recovery, gaining additional turns, destroying certain colored gems, and many, many others. Different classes get access to different ones. You also have to pay attention to the opponent's spells. A perfect example of the kind of thinking this game requires is the Troll - he has the Regeneration spell and will keep spamming it if allowed - you have to keep "stealing" his blue gems so he can't use it; otherwise he will just wear you down. The choice of items is another significant one - and the variety is just as insane, especially considering the fact that you can craft them. For that, you need runes which you get from beating enemies in certain places. The better the item, the harder the crafting minigame will be. The mechanic is pretty well balanced since the really strong runes only appear later; though, if you do it right, you will be unstoppable for the last 1/4 of the game or so (probably the game's biggest flaw - but try to find an RPG that doesn't suffer from it). As if that wasn't enough, you can also capture enemies and learn their spells if you beat them a few times (this requires yet another minigame). Don't forget this is an actual RPG - we've just covered the fights but the overworld aspect is just as developed - quests, shopping, capturing cities, earning money, building, leveling up...you'd be hard-pressed to find a game with more depth. There is also quite an extensive story which seems kind of wasted on this game; though some of the characters are funny (Drong!) or mysterious (Darkhunter). Add to that nice, colorful animations and fitting sound effects, and you've got a gem of a game. HEAVILY RECOMMENDED!

Nintendo DS

Ninjatown

Demons are trying to get your cookie recipe and you absolutely cannot let that happen! To accomplish that, you build Ninja huts and let the Ninjas destroy the enemies looking to get through. Sounds simple but there is quite a bit of depth in this game - lots of variety in Ninjas and demons, with different kinds being more effective against certain types of enemies. You get cookies for every killed demon and can use that to upgrade the buildings or buy new ones. Then there is the strategy of where to put which kinds of Ninjas - for example, you don't want the slow, strong ones right where enemies appear, since they will just skip them. Instead you put the fast ones first, which will make the demons stop to fight - then the damage-dealers can come to beat them up. There's also power-ups you can use in case of emergencies, when your Ninja army just isn't enough. You get rated for your performance at every level, and getting the best rank can be quite tough. On the later levels it requires careful balancing of the amount of buildings versus their strength (one super powerful ninja isn't going to do much against a wave of demons); good resource management (gotta save up sometimes), good timing (do I build the ranged ninjas this turn, or can they wait?) and placement. This adds even more depth for "hardcore" players who want A rank everywhere. Visual design is nothing to write home about, though it's at least colorful and kind of humorous. On the other hand, the audio is just annoying. There's also a little too much focus on not-very-interesting story stuff. Whatever, the game is fun, varied and challenging, and I still recommend it. Somewhat recommended.

Plants VS Zombies

Similar concept to the above - zombies are invading and you've got to rely on your plants to stop them. That is where the similarities end though, because the game is very much inferior. First of all, all the action happens on one screen, instead of Ninjatown's...well, town. This is similar to the difference between 2D and 3D shooters - regardless of what the former does, it just won't recreate the benefits of the three dimensions. Though Plants VS Zombies does try - there is lots of plant and enemy types, and later levels introduce nighttime or different terrain. But the depth is still not so great especially with some bad design decisions that the game makes. Sunflowers are the only way to earn currency required to buy plants, so any level will start with trying to plant as many of them as possible, as early as possible. Until the zombies start appearing, then you switch to the 100 Sun costing pea shooters, or the free Puff shrooms (which actually do the same amount of damage...though the range is lower) when you get them. The developers seemingly tried to combat this by introducing enemies such as the mirror-holding zombie - or the pole vaulter which can jump over plants, but it doesn't do enough. At least all the levels from the first two worlds are beatable by this simple strategy plus a well-placed bomb plant if you get in trouble. You can safely ignore many of the fun plants such as the Chomper or the Hypno-shroom. Another bad design decision is the requirement to wait between buying plants of the same kind. This is just a fake way to increase difficulty - similar to shooters just adding more HP to their enemies - because it was clearly beyond the devs to require actual strategy to beat the levels. There is also no rating system to reward more hardcore players. The game clearly does have a soul in it - the enemies are well designed, have humorous descriptions and funny voices (Brains!!!), plus it doesn't bother you much before jumping into gameplay. All in all, Plants VS Zombies can be fun to just whip out for a few plays, but don't expect too much from it. It's so sad - it would seem simple to improve this game - simply make the fun plants actually required to win, instead of being able to rely on just the basic shooters. In the end, due to the issues mentioned earlier, I have to - with a heavy heart - give Plants VS Zombies a rating of Not recommended.

Contact

The "game" begins with a scientist running around for half a fucking hour, talking about some useless shit, asking dumb questions and annoyingly "breaking the fourth wall". Then, when you can finally begin to control your character, you walk up to a sheep which starts doing damage to you even though it doesn't even look like an enemy. And "your" character fights it without your input. Now you're at low HP and the scientist complains. So you've got to avoid the enemies while you go to wherever. And that's when I stopped playing. There might still be a good game hiding behind this nonsense, but first impressions matter, and Contact doesn't make a good one. AVOID!

Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney

I can't get caught... Not like this! Gotta find someone to pin this on... Someone like... him!

Not only are you thrown in the middle of a murder right at the beginning of the game, but it's also your friend that is being accused - and your job, as a rookie defense attorney, is to clear him off the charges. I can't think of a better way to start the game if the goal is to get someone "in the mood" - and as Contact shows, first impressions matter. After the introduction, you get to talk to Mia, your boss, who tells you she's impressed that you're taking on a murder trial so early in your career. See? This is the game telling you shit is serious right at the start, which, along with the perfectly fitting soundtrack, keeps you focused. Then you meet up with your accused friend who's crying, since it's his girlfriend that was killed. That's it, two main characters quickly introduced through gameplay, and we can begin the trial. Your friend tells his version of events, the prosecutor says he's lying and summons a witness - who is the actual murderer. Here you learn how to challenge the witness' statements and use evidence to disprove them - tutorial done through gameplay, the holy grail. When you make the correct challenge, the witness will get visibly anxious and modify his version of events, until that is untenable and he's either kicked out or convicted of the crime if he's guilty. Okay, you won the first case, what's next?

The pressure is on! Your boss got killed and the name of her sister was written with blood on a piece of paper near her body. So now your task is to defend the sister from the charges. Here you will learn the second part of the game - gathering evidence from the crime scene and by talking to people. You get introduced to another two of the main characters - Maya, your boss' sister, and Detective Gumshoe. Now Phoenix Wright becomes a true adventure game of "go here, talk to this guy, go back, show the other guy this item". But it is kept engaging all throughout. In fact, if you're looking for a game that impacts you emotionally, you cannot get better than Ace Attorney. All of this is supported by an amazing soundtrack that somehow always manages to fit the situation, great and often animations, well designed characters and dialogue, immersive stories...This is how you do visual novels, my friends! You'd never think a game inside the courtroom could be so fun. Now drop everything you're doing and go play this fucking game! HEAVILY RECOMMENDED!

Ace Attorney: Justice for All

Sequel to the above and often considered the worst game in the series - a view I agree with. The cases are pretty weak except the last one - which is probably the best in the series in terms of emotional impact. Soundtrack is also significantly worse - you will quickly tire out of the sad courtroom theme. Though it has to be mentioned that the original has set a very high standard in terms of the soundtrack. Anyway, Justice for All is still an Ace Attorney game and includes all the fundamentals which made the first game great. Plus it introduces a fun mechanic in Psyche-Locks (these appear when someone is lying, and you have to disprove their lies to break the locks). Recommended.

Ace Attorney: Trials and Tribulations

TBD

Puzzle Quest 2

Scroll up to the PSP section and read the Puzzle Quest review. Now, forget about everything you've read, because the sequel killed it. Puzzle Quest 2 suffers from all the common modern pitfalls such as casualization, hand-holding, equalization and simplicity (the bad kind). There is not that much difference in enemies anymore - at least in terms of how you fight them. Every fight feels the same and for the time I've played, I haven't ever felt in danger of losing. The addition of the "action points" mechanic makes it way too easy to beat up enemies, since you can just whip out your sword or whatever anytime if you've matched enough action gems. In fact, a good strategy is to simply ignore mana and skulls altogether and focus on the action points. This removes most of the depth such as "do I choose this spell or that spell" or "I need this amount of mana for this spell which will create an opening". Just get action points for you OP weapon and smash. The "tutorial" never ends since you get an annoying arrow showing you which gems to match. There is no punishment for an illegal move anymore either. The original had a different stat for every type of magic resistance - here, it's all just one - removing depth and variety. Quests are done terribly since the slight "open world" aspect is replaced by dungeons with a quest marker telling you where to go. And you have to use the menu to switch quests anytime you want to finish another one, since you need the quest marker to get around - in contrast to the original which allowed you to do many quests at once and you knew exactly where they are at any point in time. Forget about capturing enemies or using them as mounts - instead you get a shitty looting minigame. Gone are castle sieges and item crafting. Graphics, animations and the soundtrack took a huge hit as well. In short: this is yet another example of a sequel that completely misses the point of the original, and ends up destroying everything which was good about it. Again, I didn't play it for long, so it's possible it gets better, but for now my verdict is AVOID!

Nintendo 3DS

Ace Attorney: Dual Destinies

The first installment of the series on the newer console, it unfortunately succumbs to modern gaming diseases. You can only investigate certain places (instead of everything - missing out on optional dialogue), you get told what evidence to present to whom in order to progress (Notes menu), Psyche-Locks are immediately unlockable without penalties (older titles had you find evidence to be able to do that). What about the courtroom battles? Casualized just like the investigations. Too often you're simply told what's the suspicious statement - and even if you incur all five penalties (unlike older titles, 20% is the maximum) - you can simply try again from the same point. As if the series wasn't short on gameplay anyway, they just had to destroy the remnants...Okay, we've got the bad out of the way - let's focus on the good. Soundtrack is good as is expected from the series. A fun mechanic known as the Mood Matrix is introduced - Athena (the newly introduced defense lawyer) has an ability to sense a witness' emotions, and you have to pick out an emotion which conflicts with his testimony. Nice-looking 3D models of all characters. Three well-developed, well-balanced defense lawyers - Phoenix does not steal the spotlight (like in Apollo Justice). Miles Edgeworth is also back at the end, and Simon Blackquill might be the best character in the whole series. Story is great and keeps you on your toes until the end. All the cases are connected to finally reach an unexpected conclusion, like in Trials and Tribulations. A few fully voiced cutscenes add to the emotional engagement. I'd like to say that what Dual Destinies lacks in gameplay, it gets back with the story - but it would not be entirely true. Though the story is top-tier, the amount of casualization is simply too much, and I cannot give the game a better rating than Somewhat recommended.

PS Vita

Virtua Tennis 4

Game, Set, Match, Player One! The only tennis game available on the Vita - and it does a great job of representing its genre. Nice practice mode will teach you the basics, there are also Arcade and Exhibition (custom) modes - but the real meat of the game is the World Tour. There, you get to create your own tennis player (and the customizability is massive - from height, muscularity and facial features to the way your player will hit their groundstrokes), whom will then fulfill his dream of becoming, hopefully, the world's best tennis player! The overworld takes the form of a board game on which you move using "tickets" that allow you to move a certain number of steps. The goal of the game is to earn as many stars as you can, climbing up the rankings to eventually challenge The King of tennis itself. The board game part is pretty deep in itself - after every movement you get a random ticket; the most common are the ones allowing you to move 2 or 3 spots. You have to decide on which spots to step on - do you want to do a media interview (adding stars but decreasing money), meet the fans (again adding stars but decreasing condition), restore condition (needed to play tennis at full capacity), buy additional tickets, do one of the many training minigames available (which will increase the skills of your player, unlocking one of the many playstyles), or play the actual tennis matches? You might also be put into a sticky situation where you can step only on accidents, if you have all tickets of the same number, for example - forcing you to plan ahead.

The season is split into five parts, each with a major tournament and some lesser ones. The amount of stars you have determines which ones you can join; getting further in them gives you more stars. You get to face actual tennis players such as Rafael Nadal, Andy Murray or Maria Sharapova - and even recruit them as doubles partners. The attention to detail in this game is insane - not only do these players play eerily similar to their real-life counterparts, but even lesser players each have unique animations made for them. Okay, let's talk about the other part of the game - the actual tennis. The developers did a great job of simulating the real tennis season - you get to play on all the surfaces which have different physics. Each opponent also has his own playstyle and will require a different strategy. All the usual shots are included in the game - slice and spin serves, backhands and forehands, volleys, drop volleys, diving volleys...dropshots, lobs, smashes. slices, and even game-winning power shots. Mastering them all will be essential to succeeding in the Virtua Tennis 4. Okay, you've cleared the World Tour - now what? New Game+ is even better than your first playthrough, since you get to keep all the money, skills, unlocked playstyles and doubles partners. It's easier to concentrate on earning the required amount of stars if you don't have to worry so much about training or having money for the charities, etc. Now you are also a better player so you might be able to beat the Federers and Djokovics that used to kick your ass. There's much more to this game (like buying gear - you can use a fucking baseball bat as your racket!), but I've already rambled on for too long - the rating, of course, is HEAVILY RECOMMENDED!

Hitman GO: Definitive Edition

Agent 47 is back on the Vita! Except this game has very little to do with the actual series. You take turns moving your piece through a board and your objective is to either reach a certain spot, or kill a target. Already here we find the first hiccup, which is that turns work inconsistently - usually, you move first and all the enemy pieces after you (so your action takes precedence). But if you step on a teleporter, an enemy can move in and kick you out before you are able to teleport (his action taking precedence). And, if your move would get you killed by a laser guy, but an enemy would block it in the same turn, you won't be killed (both actions taking place at the same time). None of this is explained anywhere and can only be found through trial and error - which is how most of the game works as well. As of writing this I've cleared 4 worlds and there's precious few levels where you have to do any thinking at all. Now, every level except the first few has two additional challenges like "don't kill anyone" or "reach target in X turns or less", for which you get additional points that help unlock the next worlds. The problem with this is that often, there's only a one step difference between the two "solutions" - so you have to replay a level just to make that one move different (cheap way to artificially lengthen gameplay time). To say something positive about this game - it does the "tutorial through gameplay" thing pretty well. Not a word is ever said while new mechanics are introduced, and a level usually focuses on one of them, letting you become familiar. There are different types of enemies like the "bouncers" that don't move until you come close to them, the runners, the dogs that follow you through the level, etc. Some other fun mechanics include guns and disguises, which allow you to bypass a certain type of enemy - unfortunately, this Hitman staple only appears for a few levels - what a blunder! Anyway, that is where the good news ends. There's no soundtrack to speak of (except the few times they play Ave Maria theme lifted from Blood Money), animations are basic (they couldn't even show 47 Fiber Wiring a target?), graphics something out of Windows 98, sound effects limited, no story, no depth. All in all, this is a mobile-tier barely-a-game which claimed the name of Agent 47 to increase sales (expected, since it was actually made for mobile first). Could be fun to pass a few minutes while waiting for someone, but if you expect something more than you would from Candy Crush, then prepare to be disappointed. Not recommended.

Last updated: 02 / 02 / 2019

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